Yesterday I had Handley's conference at school. I was expecting to go in and hear what a perfect student she is, how she is always on task, and how well she is reading and writing. Her teacher did confirm that she is reading very well, knows all of her sight words, participates in class and is always eager to please. She said she is still writing some of her numbers backwards and that we should practice that at home, but that it was developmental and that it will come in time. The thing that I wasn't expecting to hear was that the past few weeks Handley has been acting silly in class and that she has even been on red a few times. (The behavior system in their class is that all the kids start out on GREEN, move to YELLOW is a warning and RED means business.) Her teacher hadn't made a big deal out of it before because Handley wasn't being bad, just silly, and said she was only telling me about it now because it had continued to happen. Needless to say I was shocked and very unhappy that she had been acting that way at school.
When we got home I talked to her about it and she immediately started crying. She seemed to genuinely feel bad about the way she had acted and the fact that she hadn't told us she had been on red. She told me that she likes to make her friends laugh. I explained that was a wonderful quality to have because everyone loves to laugh, but that there is a time and place for it. On the playground was fine, but during class was not acceptable.
After talking and reminding and talking some more about her behavior I just knew that she would correct the behavior and have a much better day today. Turns out I didn't know anything. Her teacher informed me this afternoon that she was on red AGAIN today for being silly in class. I was disappointed. And humbled. And furious. I told her right away that as a consequence for misbehaving at school that she would not be allowed to go to playgroup this afternoon and that just crushed her. As soon as we got home she was sent right to her room and she also missed on out several privileges this evening. We've talked, again, about the importance of not being silly during class and I pray that it got through to her this time and that she will have the self-control to make good choices at school tomorrow. I suggested that she write her teachers a note apologizing and she loved that idea. She worked hard on it and also drew a picture of she and her teachers riding bikes together.
I love that she is so social and loves to bring a smile to her classmates faces, but I also expect her to be focused and respectful during learning times. She told me she knows she can stay on green tomorrow, so that is what we are aiming for!