A Just Me and You Thing

Handley has coined the term, "a just me and you thing."  She will say it anytime that just the two of us are together.  It could be something as simple as being alone in the bathroom together when I'm fixing her hair or something a little more significant, like when I come to her school parties alone.

Recently, I feel like she has been craving individual attention and I have a really hard time being able to give it to her.  She's in school every day and with Harper and Hudson needing my attention as well, I often feel like I am putting Handley last because she is the oldest and because she is the most independent.  I also feel like I unfairly expect perfection out of her.  That and the fact that our similar personalities often have us butting heads, I sometimes go to bed feel extremely guilty about the way we have interacted during the day.  She loves the role of "helper" and really does make things easier for me around the house when she helps Harper do things or keeps Hudson happy when no one else can.  However, I don't want to expect too much out of her and certainly don't want to forget that she is only 4 and deserves me to be as understanding and patient with her as I am with Harper.  I've really been making a conscious effort to reconnect with Handley and to do some special things with just her.

This afternoon we started working on the girls' valentines for school and between Harper ripping hers accidentally and Hudson starting to get fussy for dinner, it just wasn't happening.  I promised Handley we could try a little later and it could be a just me and you thing.  She LOVED that idea.  Hudson and Harper both went to bed early so Handley and I got started on her cards.  It was so simple, but because she had my undivided attention, she was so very happy.  I'm going to continue making time for just me and you things so that she can have the attention and the one-on-one time I know she needs.

I was impressed that she was extremely focused and excited about writing each of her classmate's names on their cards (all 20 of them!) without complaining or even asking once how many more she had to do.  Her handwriting skills have improved so much and she really loves writing.

I have one quick tip to share, that my friend, Chancey, shared with me.  Most of the store bought valentines are small and the "TO/FROM" space is really, really small.  With kids, who generally write big, that makes it tough.  Chancey had the idea to glue the valentines to construction paper and let kids write their friends' names on the construction paper instead, giving them more space to write.  After tossing out a few valentines because Handley ran out of room while writing someone's name, I decided to bust out the construction paper and do the same thing.  We made little cards out of the construction paper and she wrote the "TO/FROM" party on the front.  Then on the inside we are going to glue the store-bought princess valentines and the candy she picked out to give her friends.  They turned out great and it's something I never would have thought to do. Hope that tip can help someone else, too.  :-)